The best dumb watch ever

For over three years, I've worn a Timex Ironman watch on my wrist.  It has never come off. I have never changed the battery, charged, or synced it. It has never required a software update.  In over 30,000 uses, it has never malfunctioned or failed to carry out its focused purpose perfectly.  

Timex has been producing these watches for 35 years with no change in the user interface, no expanded feature set, and with very modest price increases.  A seven-year-old or an eighty-seven year old can figure out its entire feature set in less than three minutes.  No appointment with a genius required. It makes no fashion statement, positive or negative.  

It can be worn in casual or formal settings; it is so common and normal in society as to be invisible. "Wow, look at that awesome/stylish/lame/ugly watch!" said no one ever.  Anyone who picks one up can fully operate it since every model ever made functions identically.  It can be used to its fullest in darkness and in bright sunlight, when its owner is at rest or in motion. It has zero owner cost in time, energy, or attention. Its monetary cost per use is negligible.

There's nothing to store, repair, or maintain and no cognitive load to operate.  It never interrupts or distracts.  It produces no data to be parsed, stored, collected, or analyzed. No flood of dopamine, no ads, no animated cartoon characters, no emoji, no infinitesimally small icons.

I bet Steve Jobs was a fan.